Thursday, June 7, 2012

Not A Driving Bathroom

     When we picked Dude up from school we had to walk into his class to collect him.  We walked right past two toilets, got Dude, walked past the same two toilets, walked out, and loaded into the van.  Not one minute later Ball starts saying "I need to go potty!"

     Having to walk into his classroom and physically collect Dude has seriously shortened my time on an afternoon when time is already tight.  One day a week we are running from school to the swimming pool for lessons and too often we don't make it on time; today is that day.

     Unfortunately, Ball often waits until the very last possible second before deciding that she needs to go potty and recent experience has taught me that she will not be able to wait until we get to the pool.  This would be so much easier if she were a boy!  (I'm thinking of empty water bottles and yes, I write from experience.)

     I pull onto a side street and pull up to the curb of a nearby community.  I grab a towel out of our pool bag (thrilled that I am somewhat prepared for this), hold it around Ball and position her so that I am holding her under her armpits as if she were sitting, with her butt swinging in the breeze over some plants.  As she's watering the plants, I'm moving my feet so they don't also get watered.  I'm also working hard to keep her modest with the towel when Dude jumps out of the van, stands next to us, drops his drawers and just lets go.  (Now that, was unexpected.)

     I am now aiding and abetting two minors with indecent exposure.  I am doing this because one time when Ball was first being potty trained, and I didn't have a spare diaper to slap on her, and I couldn't find a place to pull over, I said to her in a defeated voice "you can just go potty in your car seat."  And ever since then, I have been trying to convince Ball that my van is actually not a driving bathroom.

     Please share your own potty training failures with me so I don't feel quite so inadequate.

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26 comments:

  1. That's the one thing I'm not looking forward to doing when my daughter starts potty training. Kids seem to choose the worst time to have to pee, even after we've asked them a dozen times before we leave if they need to go.

    Thanks for the follow, following back

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  2. Kids' bladders have the worst timing!
    Thanks for stopping by!

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    1. Hi! I just joined TGIF Blog Hop and followed you via GFC. Hope to read more of your posts in the future! :)

      whyyyjen.blogspot.com

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    2. Thanks for stopping by Charlene!

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    1. Welcome and thanks for coming by!

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  4. Ahahahahaha! So awesome! I was NOT pushing #3 to potty train because seriously I was dreading the Tour De Toliet everytime we left the house. Having #4 and the only boy 11 months after #3 pushed potty training to frazzled new heights. After #3 announced she'd rather die than pee in public, I cracked and put a camping toilet in my truck. ISSUES... yes, I have many of them. ;)
    I'm so glad I found you through the TGIF Blog Hop! :)

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    1. I have friends who put toilets in their cars. I was lucky enough to not have to deal with that.
      I guess the funniest part of this is Ball was the easiest to potty train of the bunch. She just never seems to register she has to go until she HAS to go. Either she'll learn or she'll live as an incontinent old lady all her days.

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  5. We've been pretty lucky when it comes to the potty training. Although, we still have one to go so I probably just jinxed us.

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    1. Does a double jinx cancel out the first jinx and then make everything OK again?

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  6. I am preparing myself to potty train #5. I feel your pain. I had one of my girls actually poop on the front sidewalk. All I could say was "thank you for pulling down your pants first." Love it! Thanks for joining us, it wouldn't be the same without you!!

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    1. As I imagined a woman with 5 kids has some fun potty training stories. :-)
      Thanks so much for stopping by and thank you for hosting the TGIF Blog Hop!

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  7. Oh my goodness! This is so funny!!!
    I do remember being at the public library with my daughter, then 2 1/2 and I was pregnant with my son. She was potty training. No pull-ups.She was all about underwear. She did pretty well, but you know how it goes. So there she stands in the children's section is like, "I've got to go potty" and I'm not fast enough, and she pees right there on the library carpet. I picked her up and we got the hell out of there. I came back a few months later and never saw a stain. I guess they cleaned it pretty well. I felt AWFUL!

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    1. I am always torn. Do I confess or do I run and hide? Luckily, we are done with most of that (save the occasional road side pit stops). Thanks for stopping by!

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  8. That is too funny! I'm certainly not ready for potty training! My son is 19 months so I have a little bit of time! :) Thanks for stopping by my blog. Following you back from What's cooking in the burbs. Have a great weekend!
    Bridget

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    1. Bridget, I look forward to seeing what else you are cooking up on your blog. thanks for stopping by!

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  9. Thanks for visiting my blog! Love yours name. So cute!

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    1. We love Nemo in this house! Thanks for stopping by Bren.

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  10. Awesome that you are aiding and abetting those minors--and LOVE that you also have to work to distinguish the carseat from the bathroom ;)

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    1. You'd think after two years a four year old would forget about that, but alas... Thanks for stopping by Meredith!

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  11. Don't feel bad. We pee outside all the time around here. :) Also, I definitely had to pee in a Gatorade bottle while in the back of a truck out on mission in Iraq. That's an advanced level skill, though...

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    1. That is seriously advanced. I think your skills exceed mine, but I vote we don't have a pissing contest. OK?

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  12. Too funny - only because I have been there, done that! i have three girls and the youngest (4) is one of those "hold it until the very last second" kind of gals. :-)

    Found your log via You Know It Happen At You House Too - it's great!

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    1. I believe they do it just to drive us insane. We load all three kids in the car and as we're driving away "Mom, I have to go potty!" It makes my eye twitch every time!

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  13. For realsies, I think Blogger hates me. You're right about it deleting my comments, and Super Earthling said my comments were in her spam folder. Blergh!

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