Thursday, May 10, 2012

The Ruiners

     I have this little quirk that I'll blame on growing up as a twin in a small house.  My sister and I shared everything: bed, clothes, toys, room.  Because of this, I developed a Gollum-like sense of possession where anything that I didn't have to share with my twin (and even some things I did) became my precious.  This quirk is one of the more difficult things I deal with as a parent.  My kids have seemingly no sense of boundaries and they care very little about "stuff."  The rule appears to be: if they can reach it, they can have it.

     I often find myself perusing a site called Sh*t My Kids Ruined.  I love this place because it reassures me.
1. Things could be worse.
2. I am not the only one raising crazy destructive monsters. 
My kids' "I can take what I want" attitude coupled with the fact that they don't care if something gets ruined drives me crazy!  I live with three little ruiners and I am fighting a battle just to get my kids to take care of stuff.  Here is a list of all the things I personally have posted on the Sh*t My Kids Ruined Facebook Page.  Any one item on my list doesn't seem so bad, but as a collective...

You've heard the expression "Idle hands are the devil's workshop" right?  Ball gets especially destructive when bored.  One morning I put Ball in time out.  I went upstairs to change the laundry (less than 5 minutes), came downstairs, and saw this: 
Body art - the least bothersome art.
And this:
Not such a bright idea

She's not so great at "time outs."  Ball had gotten up from the step she was sitting on, went to the kitchen counter, found a pen, and decided to spice things up a little.

Dude was playing with Legos and the container that holds his Legos was laying on the floor.  Such an invitation was irrisistable to Ball.  She turned it upside down, stepped up on it, and commenced jumping.  Isn't that what you would do?

Boredom - making people do stupid things since 1600.

One morning while preparing breakfast Ball found two things sitting on the counter that she felt needed to get together; a  McDonald's Happy Meal toy and our camping ipod speaker.  That toy was exactly the right size to fit in the hole and not come out.  Doh!

Who needs a shape sorter?

This is a small but representative sample of our kitchen table.  All three kids have taken pot shots at it giving it that shabby chic look.  Ok, it just looks shabby.  Our table is the reason none of the grandkids are allowed to sit at either grandparents' tables.
Forks are for eating?  I thought they were for carving.

Lastly, while helping my then 5 yo with her homework, her 3 yo brother took a marker off the table and "drew me a map". 

This took less than 2 minutes.

This took even less time.
I know this looks way worse than the table above, but every bit of marker came off thanks to Crayola's detailed instructions for how to remove the stain.  Today the chairs look great.  Whew!

     Often I wonder if my kids are just naturally destructive.  Other times I wonder if this is just part of having three kids.  After all, I'm not capable of watching all of them all the time.  Whatever the reason, have no fear.  I won't be bringing my kids over to you house anytime soon; at least not until they are "civilized".

What have your kids ruined?  I know I'm not totally alone here.


  1. Everything! Every damn thing. Rushers. We call them that, too.

    1. Rushers; that is hysterical! Reading your stuff makes me feel old. I constantly have to go the Urban Dictionary to look stuff up. Thanks for teaching me a new word!

  2. You are SO not alone. I am currently typing on a keyboard with several missing keys and we too have the "stabby holes" from forkstration on our kitchen table. Loved this...thank you for the laugh! THE CHAIRS! Happy Mother's Day.

    1. "forstration" Ha! That is perfect. I hope you also have a great Mother's Day with little to no destruction.

  3. Yikes! Actually, my older son (12) has ruined a lot within the last couple of years and has thankfully mellowed. In the space of a few months, he and his friends took out a lamp, a window screen, knocked several things off the wall, etc., etc. Sometimes I feel like we need to live in a rubber room. lol

    1. A rubber room or a giant bounce house. I think either would work. Thanks for stopping by!

  4. Kids seem to find just the right toy to just fit into a tiny space that you cannot get it out of. How is this possible?

    1. My youngest has mastered the art of being the most destructive in the cutest ways imaginable. We are in serious trouble. She is going to wrech our car and then come home and bat her eyelashes and we'll be helpless.


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